Healthy Communication With Your Partner During an Unexpected Pregnancy

You have hopes and dreams for your life, and you have goals you want to reach. Being pregnant wasn’t part of your plans, and now you’re bombarded with unwelcome emotions of fear and anxiety about what to do next. How do you communicate with your partner during an unplanned pregnancy?

First, know you aren’t alone. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) reports that each year, nearly half of all pregnancies in the U.S. are unexpected. So, there are almost three million other women in your shoes.

Of course, statistics don’t make an unexpected pregnancy any easier for you or your relationship. But healthy communication with your partner is a very important and helpful tool in the event of an unplanned pregnancy.

Telling Your Partner You’re Unexpectedly Pregnant

Almost everything feels overwhelming when you find out you’re unexpectedly pregnant, starting with how to break the news to your partner.

Here are healthy communication suggestions for when you tell your partner you’re unexpectedly pregnant:

• Choose a safe and private setting: This isn’t news to deliver by phone or text. A private setting is ideal unless you are concerned about your partner’s reaction. In that case, your safety comes first, so have other people around.

• Don’t worry about managing your partner’s emotions: Healthy communication is direct and honest. Your partner’s reaction and feelings are for him to work out and not for you to manage for him.

Despite that, there is no need to set him up for a reaction by prefacing your conversation with “I have bad news.”

• Give him room to process his response: Keep in mind that his first reaction is in front of you. Think back to your response when you saw the positive pregnancy test. Did you cry? Feel shocked? Give your partner space to experience these initial reactions, as well. However, if he reacts with extreme anger or violently, that’s not acceptable.

Making a Decision With Healthy Communication

You have three options to consider when you’re unexpectedly pregnant: parenting, adoption, and abortion. It is undoubtedly one of the most difficult decisions you will ever face and one you’ll want to make carefully to prevent regrets later.

• Give each other space to process emotions: You and your partner are experiencing a wide range of emotions right now, and they can shift suddenly. Now is the time to give one another space to process how you’re each feeling about the pregnancy. Keep in mind that both of you may be responding to one another out of fear during this time, so give more leeway than usual.

• Freedom to discuss how you’re feeling: You and your partner need to feel safe to discuss your thoughts and feelings about the pregnancy. That means you don’t hide what you’re feeling or make decisions based upon fear of his response to what you have to say.

Ideally, you will come to the same decision about your pregnancy choice. If not, the option is ultimately yours to make.

At Thrive St. Louis, we offer compassionate licensed medical professionals and trained advocates to help you step by step with your unexpected pregnancy. We can help you with tips to communicate with your partner about your unintended pregnancy in a healthy way. Contact us today for an appointment!